Welcome back for another ridiculously convoluted and unhelpful journaling, where the quality of music matters little and writing becomes a sport instead of a chore. Or maybe it’s both. Fuck, I don’t even know anymore.
http://i.imgur.com/LxGmD.jpg
What started as a simple third episode of JJRL has morphed into some kind of unholy Atsushi Sakurai tribute or something. I started by heeding the advice of notable J-everything savant Brick “Phoney” Netherland (aka Phones666), Attorney at Law, and listened to the first bit of MONA LISA OVERDRIVE by BUCK-TICK (hereby acronymized to B-T because I feel like it). After hearing the…

Well, okay. If you insist, I’ll do this shit. In case you jerks didn’t know (you probably didn’t because he didn’t blatantly advertise shit like I do), this is sort of a response review to shodan21’s recent review of The Quiet Resistance. I think he asked me to do this like four years ago. And now, the epic non-masterpiece that I spent approximately as long as it takes to listen to the album working on…IS FINALLY COMPLETE. BEHOLD THE CARNAGE.

In case you didn’t know, Nemesea (Jesus Christ that’s hard to spell consistently correct on the first try)…

I recently had an awesome idea, how about I do requests instead of secretly mocking those who ask me to review things? After continuing to mock everyone for a few hours, I decided I’d spend a few minutes and churn out some half-assed reviews FOR THE PEOPLE.

L'Âme Immortelle – Als Die Liebe Starb

Trexacious has my family hostage, and I’m writing this to save them. Wait, you’re saying you don’t know who the hell she is? 1. Don’t fucking interrupt me. 2. Haven’t you seen this? It should make everything quite clear for you.
http://i.imgur.com/QpAbr.gif
I’m selling the movie…

Tl;dr – IT’S MOTHERFUCKING LONG WITH RANDOM NOTES FROM THE FUTURE AND I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT THIS WHOLENGINEG ntjeo?

Nightwish might be somehow involved here

Despite what you may have heard on Fox News, I’m not dead yet. And even if I was…resurrection.

Most/All of this is out of date, because I forgot about this for several months. I'm only resurrecting it now because I don't really have the time to dive into something else right now, and there is nothing else worth writing about…yet…and I just finished the accompaniment comics so shut the fuck up. In case you didn't…

So I’m a bit off, as our good friend Wanky would say, and just realized I’m in Japan for another year…this should be interesting.

(pretend you didn’t see the title for the next few paragraphs)

I was totally going to do some kind of epic tribute to the Z.Wanky Snyder-Pants124 Crew and post it up in here. However, I then asked myself a world-changing fucking question: Do I really give enough of a shit about these motherfuckers to devote any more time to them? The answer, of course, is no.

So, what happens next?

Another chapter of something about Sami?…

Here’s the Prologue in case you were too busy living in your cave and missed it. I’m all rapid-fire with this shit, good luck trying to keep up.

And while you’re here, avoiding your real responsibilities like the rest of us, check out the slightly more sexually-fueled and slightly more original (because she beat me to the punch so I basically ripped off everything, I’m not sorry :D) 50 Shades of Sami, authored by noted Antarctican artist Trexacious. According to experts (me), she decoded it from the previously undiscovered reverse side of the Dead Sea Scrolls, using a decoder…

Nightwish and Sami Vänskä probably

The call that would change a billion lives came at 3:25AM JST, on June 12th, 2012. A mysterious man named Sami was hanging out in a swanky hotel in Tokyo, surrounded by hundreds of geishas, ninjas, and samurai. In other words, it was a typical Tuesday for a hero of the multiverse. Suddenly, his holo-phone that he stole from the future (that’s a whole other story) buzzed to life. Just as Sami’s ESP had predicted several seconds before, it was his old nemesis, the most reviled douchebag in Brazilian internet history, Fernando “Heilig” Zorn.

Sami…

Once again, this is some jerk on the internet, judging you and haphazardly throwing sentence fragments and parentheses around like fish in Seattle and former Yugoslav republics voting for each other on Eurovision (the only real winner of that shit was the Slovakian presenter chick). I lied about what was coming next…I got tired of reviewing metal-ish or symphonic-ish shit. I’m not sorry. Some people asked for this…if they didn’t specifically ask for this. That made sense in my head, I swear.

For the record, trying to sleep <15 minutes after listening to Shitload of Money is impossible. It’s…

I haven’t listened to anything new from Sonata Arctica since before their last album, Something About Gray, which I successfully ignored (holy shit that was three years ago???). Now, I have been baited into listening to this shit. So, enjoy my many words of mockery and spite.

1. Only the Broken Hearts (Make You Beautiful) (because that needed to be in parentheses)
I saved this for last, because I just left it blank during the first listen for some reason. I think I remember sort of liking it. Or maybe I blacked out. So, actually, as you’re reading this, I’ve…

(or at least the last couple weeks, anyway)

Tl;dr – Your favorite bands suck. No, seriously.

Yes, THE JOURNALSTORM continues. I’ll probably hate all of these bands inside of a month. Scar sez: BE PREPARED.

The Hero Section

Faunts –
Because Jerk F. Jones finally found some sweet chill-out music, as opposed to the usual vaguely angry fare.

Back when I played the original Mass Effect something like 42 million years ago, I heard M4 (Part II) over the end credits and, since I was listening to shitty music almost exclusively back then, I said something like "lolwat" and moved…