Dear dudes of Acceptance,

I wonder if you realize what a huge success a reunion tour would be - even a small one. Honestly, I wouldn't even really care if you legitimately reunited and put out anything new, because I consider Phantoms an actual masterpiece that needs no follow-up. (On top of the fact that you guys all have families and other projects and lives and stuff, I mean, I totally get that.)

Anyway, seriously… just consider it, maybe? Even if you didn't come to Las Vegas, and I wouldn't blame you, because Las Vegas sucks, I would literally…

Did you know that dolphins kill sharks by stuffing their snouts into the sharks' gills? That's fucked up. Dolphins suck.

This has absolutely nothing to do with music, but… the more you know.

Alright, look. I like Ke$ha. Her stuff is catchy, some of the lyrics are (if nothing else) pretty funny, and girlfriend is the definition of a hot mess. I don't care if she's pure radio fodder and AutoTuned into oblivion - when it comes to picking something upbeat for my morning commute/gym trips/impromptu dance parties, it's far more likely to be Ke$ha than Of Montreal. I actually don't even like Of Montreal, but whatever.

Anyway, really the only point here was to say that if my Ke$ha station plays anything by Heidi Montag or Lindsay Lohan, I'm going to stab…

Fergie's 'Big Girls Don't Cry' is currently blasting (well, really, it's playing just loud enough to make it clear he's not trying to hide it) from my boss' office.

Normally I'm a noise Nazi and hate every sound that I'm not in direct control of, but like… I can't even be annoyed by this. It's too funny.

Using my iPod's shuffle function is always a craps shoot. I have a bunch of Genius-generated playlists, but every now and then, I like to walk on the wild side. Risk the odds that my initial choice of, say, Vampire Weekend will be followed by NSYNC, or Have Heart, or Taylor Dayne.

On the plus side, forgetting to turn off the shuffle function has occasionally been an instant mood-changer. Like I'll be moping and put on Explosions In the Sky, then all of a sudden Steve Winwood (Higher Love, because no other Steve Winwood song matters) comes on, and HOW…

I know you can't tell, because I usually listen to my iPod at work on standalone speakers rather than via iTunes on my computer (then the damn thing won't scrobble when I plug it into my laptop at home, because for whatever reason the scrobbling widget doesn't work with Windows 7 - thanks last.fm) but ANYWAY, I've been listening to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy all day, and it has been AWESOME. I totally miss the mid-90s big band/swing revival - anyone else feel me on this?

(Bueller?)

Oh and can I get a witness for the run-on sentence that just…

It's usually difficult to tell whether my enjoyment of certain bands is genuine or not. For example: If someone were to ask me if I like, say, Motley Crue, they'd get something along the lines of an enthusiastic "fuck YES!!" The problem is, I'm an ironic contrarian. If I'm not 'supposed' to like something, I probably will, even if I don't. This is an idea that (probably) only I and possibly Chuck Klosterman understand, but whatever. It's not even a conscious thing, it just happens. I'm weird like that.

ANYWAY, this is going somewhere - specifically, to address…