It was so real.
I called Sam. I heard his voice.
I was sitting by the window. At home. Minnesota home.
I asked "Do you know where he is?"
Sam said "Yeah, I have a few numbers. I can give them to you."
I wrote them down.
I was shaking. I was nervous.
Sam said " he has been trying to heal. he gets better and finds girls that help him. but everyone now and then he breaks down and say "I miss tara marie."
My heart started expanding.
Like it used to.
i asked sam to go to Conor…

All i feel like doing is crying.

It's all that i'm doing to keep me
from walking into far rockaway and
never coming back.

i need something like
"Eternal Sunshine…"
I need everything to be black
and painless.
Like soil.
So i can grow new memories.
So i can dig new holes.
And fill with other bodies.

All i am is a washed up
tragic girl, with the kind of thrills
that deal with under the influence
kind.
i see dinosaurs where people should be
angel wings where shirts should be.
Made up boys where god would be.

i see…

the dead are pulling my hair.
smoking the life out of me,
digitalizing my laughter.
i'm ready for the slaughter.

it's dangerous being this
out of touch
and into touching.
the burgandy falling out of
my wrists,
i'm qualified for platinum american
express card.
charges running through my sex.

there's nothing else i can do.

blood dripping off the tips of your
hair.
shushing me when i cooed "god's wine".
like we were hidden.
Ouch-less and pressed.

i wish we could have had
that beautiful beach bed.
the surf off my shoulders
and your freckles on your nose.

daydreams are…

Name your weekly 10 most played bands on LastFM

1)Elliott Smith
2)Feist
3)Kings of Leon
4)Soko
5)Ryan Adams
6)Her Space Holiday
7) The Kooks
8) Silverchair
9)Fratellis
10) The Early November

Now answer the questions according to the numbers:

What was the first song you ever heard by 6?
Probably Something to do with my hands, or whatever. I used to listen to them and take hot baths.

What is your favorite album of 2?
I couldn't choose if you made me.

What is your favorite lyric that 5 has sung?
Said you didn't love me,
right on time.
just…

"i haven't been fucked this good since third grade."

math angles and conspiracy theories.
some things just shouldn't be inside your head.

and the only times i want to tell the truth is when people are doing things that destroy me.
even when i lead them on to do it.

circle crops still produce goods.
no harm, no foul.

tell that to…them.

cause suddenly there is a them.

spaceship commander, you have your orders.

…i guess it's safe to assume i have something abstract about me. the boys that come a-callin' only want the things that can't manifest. the almost boyfriend is almost dead and i am anything but. the spit in my mouth, for the first time is just mine. the blood brothers have lost their faces and i think i've finally bled them out anyways. my doppleganger is bringing me back to black outs. his dead girlfriends are hanging tinsle in my hair, kissing my neck and whispering "murderer, murderer, killing everyone but you." i can't feel grateful. all those times in…

pillow talk.
A brand new colony.

you wouldn't understand.

my favourite word is 'yes'
because it's the one word no one has ever said.

Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then me?
Is she more beautiful then…

I've been pulling down spanish for years.
cotton barely covers the holes that have grown.
i'm used to being replaced.
i've got an expiration date
and a timebomb tied to the ends of my eye lashes.
my market value commits suicide everytime
i lose a boy to the same mistake.

serial killers, and the taste of lime on your lips.
blood crumbs and whispering prayers to Mother Mary.
I keep trying to remind myself to fall on my
knees and remember that Jesus died for me.
But i can't seem to find a minute to care.
The only men that…

Fingers inching over mountains of pillows.
Touching the hot skin on your neck.
You're pulse like a machine.
Blood like a waterfall.
Pulling you towards me
cause i can't imagine where else
could this good.
Burning tongues like Gods at war.

What else was there?
Your teeth on my bones
and my breath in your ears.
Pleasure and pain in every drop
of sweat.
Your name,
and the way you arched your back
when you were almost done.
My nails digging into your shoulders.
Heavy rotation.
A new episode everytime.
A new way to suck off your taste.

sleeping off…